If you have experienced the death of a loved one or a close friend, then you are familiar with grief as a natural response to loss. Our reactions to it are personal and highly individual, and there are as many ways to grieve as there are people. Yet, we hear some common themes from those in mourning. For instance, many describe bereavement as a long and lonely journey, even when they have the support of family and friends.
The hard work of grief can deplete energy and emotional reserves. Experts agree that we need to take care of ourselves after the death of a loved one, a daunting task when we are heartbroken. It is wise to take things slowly. What helps one day may not the next.
Bereaved people sometimes say that they “hear” themselves telling the same stories about their loved one over and over again. Some fear that this repetition is “abnormal” and sense that others are tired of listening to them. To avoid becoming a nuisance or a burden to anyone, some mourners begin to isolate themselves from family and friends and spend increasing amounts of time alone.
Talking about the deceased and being listened to actually influence the healing process for the better. Likewise, it is also helpful to listen. Sharing stories with others who have also experienced profound losses promotes empathy amongst people. It is well known that giving and receiving empathy is one of the most powerful aspects of participation in a grief group.
At Hospice & Home Care of Juneau (a division of Catholic Community Service), we do our utmost to support people through periods of bereavement. Many who lose loved ones tell us that exercising is one way that they take care of themselves while grieving. Most of us know that walking is good for the health of our hearts. Walking with one or more kindred spirits who are also experiencing the pain of loss is often quite comforting as well.
Many bereaved people also find solace and peace when they hike alone. I am a transplant to Juneau who always hoped that her grandmother would visit Alaska one day. Her poor health unfortunately prevented her from doing so, which added to my sadness when she passed away in January 1994.
There were so many places that I wanted to share with my grandmother. So, with her as my companion in spirit, we walked to the Glacier, to Echo Ranch, to Perseverance Trail, and so on and so forth. Step by emotional step, I began to heal and to grow.
Starting Monday, May 23, Hospice & Home Care of Juneau will be leading weekly Good Grief Walks at Twin Lakes. We will gather at noon on Mondays (except for Memorial Day and the Fourth of July) to walk this beautiful and accessible path. There are lovely spots along the way to take a rest, so please feel free to bring a brown bag lunch. We will plan to wend our way rain or shine! No financial obligation or commitment of time is required for participation. Our summer season of good grief walks will conclude Monday, Aug. 8.
On Saturday, May 21, we will kick off our walking season with a remembrance gathering to honor loved ones who have passed away. We will light candles, share gentle readings and partake of conversation and refreshments. The event will be held at the Bridge Adult Day Program (1803 Glacier Highway) at 1 p.m., and is free and open to the public. For more information, please call Hospice & Home Care of Juneau at 463-6111.
• Joni Gill Pico is a bereavement and volunteer coordinator at Hospice & Home Care of Juneau, a division of Catholic Community Service.
