Gimme a Smile: Justice wears a water-resistant cape

Gimme a Smile: Justice wears a water-resistant cape

Most of us are law-abiding people.

Most of us are law-abiding people. We stop at red lights, don’t graze on the grocery store produce without paying, and refrain from driving off in our neighbor’s car left idling on the curb while the owner runs inside for one quick thing. Our parents taught us to turn in the money we found on the ground, to wait for our turns on the slide even if other kids are pushing in front, and to not stash cookies in our pockets to take home from the all-you-can-eat buffet. Our parents expected us to do the right thing, even if no one was watching. Now, as responsible adults, there’s nothing more annoying to us than seeing other people getting away with something that we know is wrong.

How many times have you shaken your head in disbelief when some irresponsible driver blows through the red light? Where’s a traffic cop when you need one?

Or maybe you’re waiting in line for the midnight release of the summer blockbuster, and just when you get close to the front of the line, the guy in front of you waves 14 friends into the line with him. Since there were exactly 15 tickets left before the movie sold out, you end up on the curb with nothing to watch except the disappointed people in line behind you. Where’s the justice in that?

ADVERTISEMENT
0 seconds of 0 secondsVolume 0%
Press shift question mark to access a list of keyboard shortcuts
00:00
00:00
00:00
 

Standing in line is one of the most severe trials for a rule-follower. You wait in line correctly and expect everyone else to do the same. Dream on! There are always some people who think the rules don’t apply to them. They have no qualms about ducking under the rope to cut in line, or taking their full-to-bursting shopping carts through the express line, leaving the rest of us fuming. We want justice.

Then there are those annoying people who claim something they’re not entitled to, like the mom who says her 5-year-old is 2 to get him a half-price plane ticket, or the guy who sits a mannequin next to him in the car so he can drive in the carpool lane. Or there’s the person who takes advantage of the handicapped parking space when they really don’t have any need for it. Imagine that you’re going to a baseball game where the first 500 fans each receive a free baseball signed by David Justice. You circle the parking lot, searching for an open space while dutifully avoiding parking in the handicapped spot. You finally find a place half a mile away from the stadium, and as you’re hustling to the entrance you see someone jump out of their car in the handicapped spot and sprint to the line in front of you to snag the 500th baseball. No justice for you!

But what if you could get that justice, after all? What if you had a superpower, just a little one, which would allow you to right the everyday wrongs that take place all around us? I’m not talking about saving the world here. Leave the heavy-duty stuff to the superheroes on the big screen, and settle for taking on the scofflaws in our midst. You could duck out back to don a water-resistant cape and drink a special elixir that would give you super speed and other handy powers.

You could start by ridding the town of red-light runners. You could zoom into their passenger seats and give them a 30-second safety lecture about the importance of following the rules of the road, before telekinetically bringing their cars to a stop at the next red light. You could zoom through a long line, rearranging people like cards in a hand of poker, until the line-cutters are at the back where they belong. You could zip through the all-you-can-eat buffet like a mighty wind, turning the patrons’ pockets and purses inside out and exposing all the food they’ve squirreled away for later. You could convert your cape into an invisibility cloak when you zoom into the back seat of the guy in the carpool lane and use your ventriloquist powers to make him think his mannequin can talk. You could run circles around the car in the handicapped spot until you create a vortex that lifts that car right off the ground and deposits it into the very farthest spot in the lot.

At the end of the day the world might not be any closer to salvation, but you might have converted a few scofflaws into rule-followers. If nothing else, you can enjoy getting a little bit of justice in your life.


• Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother and debut author who writes cozy mysteries under the name “Greta McKennan.” Her first novel, Uniformly Dead, is available at Hearthside Books. She likes to look at the bright side of life.


More in Neighbors

Sabrina Donnellan and her family attend a community luncheon for federal employees at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church on Saturday, March 8, 2025. (Jasz Garrett / Juneau Empire file photo)
Living and Growing: Choose empathy during these difficult times

“It is your concern when your neighbor’s wall is on fire.” —… Continue reading

Braised carrots with garlic and thyme, freshly cooked. (Photo by Patty Schied)
Cooking For Pleasure: Braised carrots with garlic and thyme

When I was growing up, my parents never, ever served cooked carrots… Continue reading

On a nice day it’s always safe to talk about the weather. (City and Borough of Juneau photo)
Gimme A Smile: What to say when you’ve got nothing to say

It could happen, right? Despite your very best efforts, you could find… Continue reading

A black bear sow and her cub walk along the Trail of Time at the Mendenhall Glacier Visitor Center. (Michael Penn / Juneau Empire file photo)
Living and Growing: The bear

The folks of Southeast Alaska are fortunate in that we sometimes experience… Continue reading

Laura Rorem is a member of The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. (Courtesy photo)
Living and Growing: Practicing true patience

“Have patience, have patience, Don’t be in such a hurry, When you… Continue reading

Just-baked cinnamon rolls ready to serve. (Photo by Patty Schied)
Cooking For Pleasure: Easy cinnamon rolls

My father really loved cinnamon rolls. In his later years I would… Continue reading

The Rev. Tim Harrison is the senior pastor at Chapel by the Lake. (Courtesy photo)
Living and Growing: The numbers tell the story

I love numbers and math. One of my first career aspirations was… Continue reading

Page Bridges of Holy Trinity Episcopal Church in Juneau. (Photo courtesy of Page Bridges)
Living and Growing: Spiritual self defense

True spiritual power is quiet, under the radar. One beautiful thing about… Continue reading

A bowl of gumbo. (Photo by Patty Schied)
Cooking For Pleasure: Shrimp gumbo for Mardi Gras

I love gumbo. Several years ago I was lucky enough to go… Continue reading

Nuns wait for a seating area to be opened before a recitation of the rosary for Pope Francis’ health at St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City, on Monday night, Feb. 24, 2025. (James Hill/The New York Times)
Living and Growing: Let us journey together in hope

Friends, we are a little over a week away from the beginning… Continue reading

Fresh rainwater sits on top of the ice at Auke Lake. (Michael Penn / Juneau Empire file photo)
Gimme A Smile: Looking for spring in all the wrong places

Is it spring yet? Is it spring yet? We’re through Valentine’s Day,… Continue reading

Tari Stage-Harvey is the pastor of Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church. (Photo courtesy of Tari Stage-Harvey)
Living and Growing: Seeing is believing

Christians are nearing the time of Lent, 40 days of repentance and… Continue reading