_______ is good for you. Fill in the blank with the worst, least desirable thing you can think of. If it’s a struggle for you to do this thing, it’s got to be good for you, right?
For me, the first thing that comes to mind is exercise. I’m sure exercise is good for me. Seventeen out of 18 articles on the internet assure me that this is the case. (The 18th one says I shouldn’t smoke. I’ve got that covered.) The problem with exercise is that it causes pain. I do three leg stretches, and I wake up in the night with charley horses for the next week and a half. I try to run once around the block but can only make it to my next-door neighbor’s house before I’m fully winded and that stitch in my side has me doubled over. I attempt a few toe touches, but I can only reach my knees on a good day. I have this idea of myself as a reasonably fit individual, until I start to exercise. Clearly, exercise is not good for self-esteem.
Hmm, what’s next? “Watching what you eat” is good for you. I don’t even know what that means. I don’t eat with my eyes closed, so presumably I’m always watching what I eat. Or do I need to watch my food in case someone (my little brother, perhaps) might snatch it off my plate? OK, I really do know what it means — go easy on all the good stuff and focus on eating healthy food. I can honestly say that fruits and vegetables are good for me. I want to eat more fruits and vegetables, really, I do. The problem is, I’m lazy. I admit it. It’s so easy to open up that bag of chips. Fruits and vegetables are work. You have to wash and peel and core and slice and cut off all the bad spots from leaving them too long in the refrigerator because it was too much work to do all of the above in a timely fashion. By the time you get done with all the preparatory work, eating fruits and vegetables is practically exercise. OK — we do know that exercise is good for you.
In addition to what you eat, there’s a whole host of other things to watch. Watch your weight. Watch your spending. Watch your back (I’m not sure how to accomplish this one. Like kissing your elbow, it’s a physical impossibility). Watch your mouth. Watch your watch. How am I supposed to get anything done with all this watching?
Self-denial is good for you. “Don’t watch too much television.” “Don’t spend too much time playing video games.” “Don’t lose yourself in the doomscrolling vortex online.” “Don’t give in and buy that twentieth pair of cute dress shoes when your existing nineteen pairs aren’t worn out yet.” It’s like the season of Lent all year long. Don’t you wish someone would say, just once, “Don’t spend too much time cleaning the bathroom.” “Don’t stop eating cookies until you’ve finished the last one.” “Don’t go to bed until you’ve binge-watched the entire six seasons of Downton Abbey.” Those are some instructions I can get behind.
Sleep is good for you. But not too much. Or too little. And not outside the agreed-upon sleep parameters. It really does make a difference where you sleep. Sleeping at your desk at the office: not good for you. Sleeping for eight hours in your cozy bed: good for you.
Being on time is good for you. That’s what they say, and I’ll just have to trust them on this one, since I don’t experience it for myself on a regular basis.
We all have different ways to fill in the blank for what is good for you. The trick is to learn to enjoy that thing rather than simply endure it. Now that would be good for you!
Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother, and author who writes cozy mysteries under the pen name “Greta McKennan.” She likes to look at the bright side of life.
