Fishing with a celebrity

Fishing with a celebrity

I wonder what fishing with President Trump would be like. This isn’t a pseudo-political column meant to mock the President or degrade the office because of recent (and not so recent) news and rumors surrounding his conduct, or to champion his administrative decisions thus far. It’s just a thought.

It’s the time of year when celebrities sneak into Alaska so I often wonder what it would be like to fish with people who have been elected to powerful positions, have the word “titan” or “mogul” attached to their identity or are otherwise giants in our culture.

There’s that famous picture of President Obama with a fly rod. The fly line is warped as if it had been sitting on a reel for years and there is no tension, so I’m not sure what the guide in the background is celebrating, but it would have been cool to be there, fly fishing with the President of the United States. Who cares if you didn’t vote for him, can you imagine? What about LeBron James? I don’t think he’s the type of guy who would chase Dolly Varden with a 3-weight, but what if he was?

What if Shaq was all about Tenkara? Stephen Curry seems like he’d enjoy gracefully flinging a dry fly with a slow action bamboo rod. Draymond Green would be waist deep with a snagging hook the size of an anchor hunting terminal fish.

There’s always that friend you have that is super…efficient at dispatching the fish once it comes over the side, is in the net or on shore. What would Mike Trout do with a fish bonker?

What would you do if Jose Bautista bat flipped your brand new rod into the ocean after landing a 50-pound king? Bean him with a downrigger ball?

What if Leonard DiCaprio didn’t go to the bow of the boat and, you know…

What if Johnny Depp had terrible sea legs?

Would Will Ferrell bring the meatloaf his mom finally cooked?

What if, after an hour run to a halibut spot, you had to tell Joe Pesci and Jack Nicholson you forgot something like fishing rods?

Would Brad Pitt inject himself with ebola at the sight of a ling cod?

How would Melissa McCarthy handle a sea lion taking her king salmon?

These questions will go unanswered, which is too bad. I think Kevin Hart would be the ultimate fishing buddy, but I’d still like to fish with President Trump.

• Jeff Lund teaches and writes out of Ketchikan.

More in Neighbors

One of countless classic combinations possible with Thanksgiving leftovers. (Stu Spivack / CC BY-SA 2.0)
Gimme A Smile: Please, take home some leftovers

The holiday season is upon us! Over the next few months, we… Continue reading

Jacqueline F. Tupou is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Juneau. (Courtesy photo)
Living and Growing: A life hack for holiday happiness

Do you wish you were more happy? Do you see others experiencing… Continue reading

Pumpkin cheesecake with a pecan crust being served. (Photo by Patty Schied)
Cooking For Pleasure: Pumpkin cheesecake with a pecan crust

For those of you who struggle with trying to figure out how… Continue reading

Page Bridges of Holy Trinity Episcopal Church in Juneau. (Photo courtesy of Page Bridges)
Living and Growing: The healing power of art

I found this awesome quote about art from Googling: “Art has the… Continue reading

(Juneau Empire file photo)
Living and Growing: A list of do’s to reclaim Shabbat

To be silent the whole day, see no newspaper, hear no radio,… Continue reading

“Princess Sophia” stranded on Vanderbilt Reef, Oct. 24, 1918. (Alaska State Library Historical Collection, ASL-P87-1700)
Living and Growing: The storms of the Fall

Psalm 19 1 The heavens declare the glory of God, and the… Continue reading

(Image by the New Jersey Division of Elections)
Gimme A Smile: Halloween/Election Day merger

We’ve got a couple of important holidays coming up: Halloween and Election… Continue reading

Sheet pan tomato soup garnished and served. (Photo by Patty Schied)
Cooking For Pleasure: Sheet pan tomato soup

Whenever I get my hair done at Salon Cedar, owner Brendan Sullivan… Continue reading

Brent Merten is the pastor of Christ Lutheran Church in Juneau. (Courtesy photo)
Living and Growing: The eye of the needle

One day, a rich young man approached Jesus, asking him what he… Continue reading

Jennifer Moses is a student rabbi at Congregation Sukkat Shalom. (Photo provided by Jennifer Moses)
Living and Growing: Joy after sorrow during celebration of Sukkot

As you read this column Jews around the world are preparing to… Continue reading