‘The sticker guy’: Stick to something, or fall for nothing

‘The sticker guy’: Stick to something, or fall for nothing

I didn’t use to be a sticker guy.

  • By JEFF LUND FOR THE JUNEAU EMPIRE
  • Friday, January 25, 2019 1:19pm
  • Alaska Outdoors

I’ve always wondered, if it came down to it, if I’d be one of those people who would be remembered as standing tall for what he believed in. Someone who cared outside of the comfort of his couch and computer or cellphone.

Then I found stickers, the best way to articulate to strangers what’s important. I didn’t use to be a sticker guy. Maybe because I didn’t believe in anything enough to pollute my vehicle with unpaid sponsorships, or I just didn’t believe in anything enough.

Then came the Friends Don’t Let Friends Eat Farmed Salmon sticker. If I were to make one statement to all those driving near me on California roads and highways, it was that. Shortly thereafter was the Pebble Mine sticker, and the dam broke. (Read what you want there.)

University of Arizona block A — my school. Simms — my wader brand. A Sage sticker on the tailgate, not the window to add variety.

[Hunting in the age of internet trolls]

Now, I almost feel like one of those dudes who overshares — hunting stickers, association affiliation (Backcountry Hunters and Anglers) what’s next?

But who cares? Really, no one. You just get stickers whenever you buy something, so what do you do with them? You put them places. If you get wound up enough to get political beyond opposing Frankenfish, you can put on a sticker that, four years later, someone will see and think, “Huh, I wonder if that dude still feels that way?” In addition to celebrating the right afforded by those who came before us, voting comes with a sticker that is so much cooler than the impersonal sticker form other states, it’s worthy of being posted on social media. When is the next election?

Then you have the obvious stickers that implore us all to coexist, which I’d assume most people are cool with though it seems some have antagonistic methods of achieving that end.

[Scientists ID another possible threat to orcas: pink salmon]

Some people are confrontational in their stickers and choose to mock sticker use … with stickers. I saw one in which a scene involving carnivorous sticker was eating an entire sticker family. The goal apparently was to mock sticker families or stickers. So, the person with the soccer mom van not only had stickers, but stickers of stick figure families.

There was no coexist sticker on the bumper. For those who are not wordsmiths, there are intellectually advanced stickers of someone making pee on what they don’t like.

I’ve stayed positive in my unpaid advertisements and come to terms with the fact that no one cares.

Exactly zero people will ever see me park at the store, walk up to me and say, “Hey brother, what kind of Stone Glacier pack do you run?”

It will never happen. It’s just a sticker.

There’s a fine line between looking the part and being the real thing. Not that we should be too concerned with it, but a set of stickers does not a good Alaskan make.

Still, stickers are heading my way no matter what. I ordered a hammock. Sticker. I ordered a rain tarp for it. Two different stickers. Puffy camo jacket on sale — sticker. Buy flies in Juneau — get a sticker. Visit a fly shop in Tucson, Arizona – get two stickers.

It was when I ordered something that didn’t come with a sticker that I realized how entitled I had become.

How dare you company, from which I will never again order, include a copy of the receipt you emailed to me, but not a sticker?

Fine, I didn’t want to advertise without you knowing anyway.


• Jeff Lund is a writer and teacher based in Ketchikan. “I Went To The Woods,” a reference to Henry David Thoreau, appears in Outdoors twice a month.


More in Home

Two banks with drive-through lanes are seen on Postal Way on Thursday morning. A man was fatally struck by a truck in a drive-through lane in the area during the early morning hours of June 1. (Mark Sabbatini / Juneau Empire)
Man dies after being struck by truck while laying in drive-through lane near Mendenhall post office

Armando Sanchez, 38, struck during early morning hours of June 1; JPD notified of death Tuesday.

Curtis Davis sharpens a spike at his makeshift campsite near Juneau International Airport on Sunday. (Mark Sabbatini / Juneau Empire)
With no official place to camp, homeless and neighborhoods alike are suffering miseries

Complaints to JPD nearly double, social agencies seek “safety zone,” many campers just want peace.

Alaska Supreme Court Justice Peter Maassen receives applause from his fellow justices and members of the Alaska Legislature during the annual State of the Judiciary address on Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2023, at the Alaska State Capitol. (James Brooks/Alaska Beacon)
Gov. Dunleavy will be asked to pick fourth state Supreme Court justice

Applications being accepted to replace Peter Maassen, who reaches mandatory retirement age next year

Shannan Greene (left) and Sharyn Augustine hold signs on April 27 urging residents to sign recall petitions for Juneau Board of Education President Deedie Sorensen and Vice President Emil Mackey due to their roles in a budget crisis for the current fiscal year. (Mark Sabbatini / Juneau Empire file photo)
School board recall petitions submitted; supporters of Saturday cruise ship ban need more signatures

Third initiative seeking to repeal default by-mail elections also has 10 days to get more signers.

Pins supporting the repeal of ranked choice voting are seen on April 20 at the Republican state convention in Anchorage. (James Brooks/Alaska Beacon)
Alaska ranked choice repeal measure wins first round of legal challenge, but trial awaits

Correction: The initial version of this article incorrectly listed Alaskans for Better… Continue reading

Juneau resident Ajah Rose Bishop, 21, suffered severe spinal injuries in a single-vehicle accident early Saturday morning. (GoFundMe fundraiser photo)
Woman breaks spine in single-vehicle collision on Egan Drive early Saturday morning

21-year-old Juneau resident medivaced to Anchorage, online fundraising effort underway.

Lady Baltimore, a bald eagle in Alaska who survived a poaching attempt, rests in her Juneau Raptor Center mew on Aug. 15, 2015. (Photo by Michael Haase, republished under a <a href="https://outlook.office.com/mail/safelink.html?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcommons.m.wikimedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFile%3ALady_Baltimore%2C_in_her_habitat.jpg&locale=en-US&wau=https%3A%2F%2FCAN01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com%2FGetUrlReputation&wid=00730A1A-3310-48BA-AB07-9EC288151649&corid=fe4b86a4-d74c-6b07-ee96-c3ad70e72fe9&srcid=db9d34a3-417f-4f35-e51e-08dc89cbd38e&appname=Microsoft+Outlook+Web+App&appver=20240531006.10&os=Windows+11&scdt=2024-06-11T04%3A06%3A03.000Z&pc=SiNIE2UHOqjsTDeXu7Qfyl%252f0MuM1kiKgjDI2DLrLH1JtQskx5i5%252bdCN7xoG7%252fK1PRa6yy%252fZ3XSb1i%252flsuVK3Vg2H8GhlH8EI66vwnIpdMySAeNhuPkGF9oUXcpmLa7wYfp9hYljGPlX%252fSUN0ka%252fb9fuEHTl%252bfeMVuBW0L4IqZfn4gHRu5Ez07auJmxfEe%252fyzlCybtU5MUoj7vmFiXew9dmOaFtr%252f%252bdd17LZaSzB7cB7Tj8KAmKqi%252ftoT4SC80diZ20XyICPcpGppo4wisO2jK4br%252bAjP63uYoLki25GD4vg6DSSzG20omh1G23J5Mq7yBlLkouXe1e%252fJecID3cLJfeijvHoke%252fFySGVtSlX%252bC0yuPc9PBaswFDfPD8y%252bq%252fplEBKO0X%252fIqyibnqn0nCLKAb7C5Y6T%252fILLzAy07ubY6JHVJpxVmgN5nhYoJz4MNCFbSTrI%252bgXG1dJyW6J2s1lZuaC3wxLjKQYLxbxMZHBXXynxwJtpM1t6LenhuuRdIrFoA46%252bhWWG6ktdCHYONSJ06udG9wIbL1hY%252fEt8kuNBMlPVvuDeYerfRKWMDky9QjvrZCq0oOKLYZbfOzjYmQyMo8XmSPPfSCg%252fUSJiroVTfZUB%252fLKWUUPMVcpyrDcG%252bTJfmaDa3HYVORIM04OyCm7D4S1deoPf1%252bl%252bQ6xLjwqr%252bNipW51fespW%252fhPNEdZvYtkEX1WHv0uEXq%252fsfKcJbiYWeoC7HQvc9LSuXxQTixmRbyptbfMCZL3yGoOwfax0o0dr5zRwBB6aByMBxXXnIq6EtkdpCrdK20tdcp10%252f6cgbwSRykCRtWWHjfcin4%252foTuur3I6RhyYTjSBVmmjG86far6r4mu28yX11kGGSwkT068%252fzNolbsJy72QcOwQbEFxExwDPwnCpI5joLpqPPTd5iY7trqLiJEPE5Nq8SF5aVbkJ1ls3KNAH%252bGUKaMLGO0JopoKwd%252bcITA26Og3W5jwkL4vZqwax7zOVJ1QXW0or5msVz1dGhQEPMFHDNoRXA49PqYVp8uhybRod%252bc8HOL9Ardc%252fJyiaFGtYuGJjFILBPJPFvIfhIF1tvyhvXbtJYHTrS2EHPLydOALIXXFQOu02a9Ky7JL16AafcjAKSoNvefUHoox83YCUid70tE6tayBEx1YLPIwe5OmR1TPuH50EUNfPFwVsJPTc%252b5%252fSmGp8LVhh36y1pEcf%252fyEbCFPZYvZuAgux1d%252btAU0%252f%252bDTp4WssPiTZJ7njswKiaMtHqeyithLO2v1ggqi2qeu%252bpPqwRo5owqSW6BNgPCEduo1cJFRBFyfGiUKCcxAjLt%252ba3q7LkYI6ujxsf8oPlyZf4Td7beQ3KgrOo572qp2H%252fBaQCPcRlAiY%252feJCGOqwnIcrnr%252f2C7ovGbjx9D0mzpqEcCojm9b2sRT5uzuM19NsYfRsCghgqnIvBD%252fUaJbj1OMZpuobrqTihpEcMAB2%252bXl32lg3PDC2J%3B+expires%3DWed%2C+12+Jun+2024+22%3A21%3A19+GMT%3B+path%3D%2F%3B+SameSite%3DNone%3B+secure%3B+httponly&urlsrc=Body&msgdata=eyJJc1VybEJlaW5nU2Nhbm5lZCI6IiIsIlVybFdyaXRlVGltZSI6IjYvMTEvMjAyNCA0OjA3OjI2IEFNIiwiQVNEaXJlY3Rpb25hbGl0eSI6IjEiLCJQaGlzaEVkdSI6IjAiLCJNc2dTY2FuU3VzcGljaW9uTGV2ZWwiOiIzIn0%3D" target="_blank">Creative Commons</a> license)
Legends of Lady Baltimore, Juneau’s famous bald eagle, fly on after her death

Rescued bird that became famous Mount Roberts inhabitant euthanized due to failing health.

In the spirit of Dolly Parton’s country music roots, race participant Mendenhall River Community School Principal Eric Filardi runs in costume with young Lucy Vogel wearing heart-shaped sunglasses as they enjoy the sunny Saturday weather on the Airport Dike Trail race course. About 85 runners participated, many wearing pearls and pink hats provided at the starting tent. (Laurie Craig / Juneau Empire)
Busting out the pink and pearls at the first Dolly Dash

Dolly Parton-inspired fun run raises funds for free books for kids.

Most Read