I wonder what fishing with President Trump would be like. This isn’t a pseudo-political column meant to mock the President or degrade the office because of recent (and not so recent) news and rumors surrounding his conduct, or to champion his administrative decisions thus far. It’s just a thought.
It’s the time of year when celebrities sneak into Alaska so I often wonder what it would be like to fish with people who have been elected to powerful positions, have the word “titan” or “mogul” attached to their identity or are otherwise giants in our culture.
There’s that famous picture of President Obama with a fly rod. The fly line is warped as if it had been sitting on a reel for years and there is no tension, so I’m not sure what the guide in the background is celebrating, but it would have been cool to be there, fly fishing with the President of the United States. Who cares if you didn’t vote for him, can you imagine? What about LeBron James? I don’t think he’s the type of guy who would chase Dolly Varden with a 3-weight, but what if he was?
What if Shaq was all about Tenkara? Stephen Curry seems like he’d enjoy gracefully flinging a dry fly with a slow action bamboo rod. Draymond Green would be waist deep with a snagging hook the size of an anchor hunting terminal fish.
There’s always that friend you have that is super…efficient at dispatching the fish once it comes over the side, is in the net or on shore. What would Mike Trout do with a fish bonker?
What would you do if Jose Bautista bat flipped your brand new rod into the ocean after landing a 50-pound king? Bean him with a downrigger ball?
What if Leonard DiCaprio didn’t go to the bow of the boat and, you know…
What if Johnny Depp had terrible sea legs?
Would Will Ferrell bring the meatloaf his mom finally cooked?
What if, after an hour run to a halibut spot, you had to tell Joe Pesci and Jack Nicholson you forgot something like fishing rods?
Would Brad Pitt inject himself with ebola at the sight of a ling cod?
How would Melissa McCarthy handle a sea lion taking her king salmon?
These questions will go unanswered, which is too bad. I think Kevin Hart would be the ultimate fishing buddy, but I’d still like to fish with President Trump.
• Jeff Lund teaches and writes out of Ketchikan.
