Decluttering.
It’s the latest fad — the hottest thing since the “In My Feelings Challenge.” I never tried jumping out of a moving car to bust a move, but a decluttering fad is something I can relate to. Hey, I’ve got clutter!
My house is one big clutter repository. Think of it as the Barnhill Archives. There’s a lifetime of history within these four walls — important stuff like tax returns going back to the early 1990s, or an extensive array of games and puzzles compiled from three distinct sources, or wall calendars detailing my family’s activities over the past three decades. These historical artifacts and many others, added to a plethora of books spilling out of bookshelves and nightstands to form untidy piles on the floor, make for a full house. While that might earn me points in poker or Yahtzee, in terms of domestic comfort it just adds up to a pile of clutter.
[I’m a product of my generation]
What to do? There are a number of ways to deal with clutter:
Ignore it. It takes a special kind of mindfulness to look at a cluttered room and see tidiness. The technique can be learned. The trick is in the straightening. A pile of mail cascading across the kitchen counter gives off an aura of chaos. But if that same pile is neatly arranged by size in an attractive catchall, then it morphs into a semblance of order. A dozen scattered piles of books on the floor scream “clutter,” but the same books neatly ranged against the wall in color coordinated towers become interior décor. Voila! The clutter has been deactivated.
If ignoring doesn’t work, another way I use to deal with clutter is to invite some people over for dinner. While my family doesn’t mind moving a pile of newspapers in order to sit down at the dinner table, I wouldn’t want to impose on my guests in that fashion. In fact, I don’t want to show my friends the chaotic nature of my home at all. The obvious solution is to lie, to fabricate an alternate reality for the benefit of my guests in which I live in a spacious and tidy home. The secret is to make sure that the guests only visit certain areas of the house, while avoiding the rooms used to hide all the clutter. Like the false fronts on buildings in the Old West, I create a façade of cleanliness that conceals the true nature of my cluttered house. Meanwhile, the piles of mail and newspapers that have been bundled into the “business box” are safely squirreled away in my bedroom with the door firmly closed.
[Practically perfect for the holidays]
The problem with this method arises once the guests have gone home and I’m ready to head off to bed. Alas, I can’t even lie down on my bed because it’s covered with the business box and everything else that I shuffled off into hiding. But I’m worn out from entertaining, and only have enough energy left to move all the clutter back to its original location before tumbling into bed. The next morning I wake up to find my problem unsolved.
At this stage I might have to take things to the next level and invite family from back east to come and stay for a week. There’s no way I can fool Mom with the fake views of my home, and I can’t leave piles of clutter on my bed for a whole week. I’ll have to take more decisive action. The only solution is to shove the business box into the depths of my closet, under cover of my hanging clothes. This works as long as I don’t forget that it’s there. That’s the main downfall of the business box — sometimes the items in it will molder for months on end. Out of sight, out of mind. Hopefully it wasn’t important business.
As a last resort, if all else fails, I could actually clean up and clear out the clutter. There are a host of lovely organizations willing to take all that junk off my hands, from used bookstores and consignment clothing outlets to the recycling center or that old standby, the dump. And if I don’t even know where to begin, I can find numerous helpful decluttering guides at my local bookstore. If only I could find a spot for them on those overflowing bookcases!
• Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother and author who writes cozy mysteries under the pen name “Greta McKennan.” She likes to look at the bright side of life. Her column runs on the last Sunday of every month.
• Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother and author who writes cozy mysteries under the pen name “Greta McKennan.” She likes to look at the bright side of life. Her column runs on the last Sunday of every month.
