Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, a plan for your welfare and not for woe, a plan for a future full of hope.”
My father was a man of few words. We called him Tatay which means “father” in Tagalog. Tatay taught us, mostly, not by words, but by how he lived his life — hard working, kind, always giving, simple, humble. In 2010, he was diagnosed with stage four nasopharyngeal cancer. To this day I can still hear his response to the doctor. “I want to live longer,” Tatay said. So, we all supported his decision for more aggressive medical testing and treatment. My brother, sister, and I took turns staying with our parents in Seattle during Tatay’s medical testing, treatments, and follow up. Tatay’s care team at the University of Washington hospital and Seattle Cancer Care Alliance became family to us during those months. I do not know how many Our Father I had prayed as we surrendered Tatay’s situation to God and sought God’s Will for his life.
Several months into remission, while on vacation in the Philippines, a big lump was felt in his arm pit. They immediately returned to the United States; further medical tests in Seattle revealed Tatay’s cancer metastasized to his liver, lungs, bones, and brain. Again expressing “I want to live longer,” he took part in the clinical study of a new cancer drug, but his body had a severe reaction to the medication. Refusing the ICU, he removed his hospital gown and said, “Bring me home now.” To us, this meant bringing him home to the Philippines. Honoring his request, we traveled the next day.
Tatay was weak and needed a wheelchair. His left arm was severely swollen and did not fit into his coat sleeve, his eyes yellow. Taking a deep breath, I prayed the Our Father. We boarded the aircraft for the Ketchikan to Seattle portion of our flight, as soon as we settled into our seats, I saw Bishop Edward Burns of the Diocese of Juneau — he was on the same flight! I waved at him and when the aisle was clear before the plane took off, I ran to where he was sitting and informed him about Tatay. Together we prayed Our Father, and he said, “Be not afraid.”
When we arrived in Seattle, we were the last passengers to leave the plane because Tatay needed wheelchair assistance. To our surprise, we saw Bishop Burns waiting for us outside! He approached Tatay, prayed over, blessed him, and then reached into his pocket and gave him a rosary. Bishop Burns said, :This is my rosary I received from the Vatican when I met with the Pope. It is yours now.” He traced the sign of the Cross on Tatay’s forehead and bid us farewell.
We spent the night in Seattle as we waited for our connecting flight. That night, Tatay had occasional shortness of breath. My mother and I propped up his pillow until he fell asleep. Later, I went down to the lobby and called my husband. I said I am scared, Tatay could die any moment, what if it happens during one of those flights? His response is clear. “Henia, your mission is to bring Tatay home alive, so focus, be strong, have faith, God will help us.” We prayed the Our Father together.
We forgot to secure medical documentation for Tatay, but we were able to board the international flight with no problems. Tatay had breathing challenges during the long 12-hour flight and during the final flight from Korea to Manila; I silently prayed and frequently checked to make sure Tatay was still breathing.
Tears of thanksgiving rolled down my cheeks when the pilot announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are approaching the Manila International Airport … ,” As we waited for our baggage, Tatay had a big smile and on this neck hung the Rosary from Bishop Burns.
A week after arrival in the Philippines, Tatay asked, “Anak (my child) , can you write the Lord’s Prayer for me? I had not prayed it in a very long time and had forgotten the words.” In big letters I wrote the Our Father prayer and attached it to a cardboard so Tatay can hold and read it easily anytime he wishes to pray it. He learned to pray again. In the evenings, he prayed the Rosary with us, too. He regained his appetite, and his physical strength, was able to visit relatives he had not seen in a long time, made one final visit to his farm, received the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Anointing of the Sick. My husband and children came to the Philippines, and so did my siblings and their families. Tatay’s siblings from Alaska also came to the Philippines. Every day became like a family reunion in my parents’ home. On Oct. 12, Tatay was with us as we sang Happy birthday to our mother.
Then on the morning of Nov. 1, 2011, on All Saints Day, Tatay peacefully breathed his last, he was 67. His right hand held the rosary from Bishop Burns and the large Our Father prayer card. Tatay has touched so many lives, the Church was packed for his funeral.
On Dec. 24, 2011, on the early morning of my sister’s birthday, Girlie dreamt about Tatay. In her dream Tatay is in their living room in Ketchikan, smiling, wearing a white shirt, and looking young like in his 30s. Tatay said “Girlie, I am already in Heaven.” When Girlie woke up, she found herself in their living room.
In the Way of Perfection, Saint Teresa of Avila said: “And when I say, “Our Father,” it will be an act of love to understand Who this Father of ours is, and who the Master is who taught us this prayer. God never allows us to forget the Master who taught us this prayer. When we pray the Our Father, remember to stay at the side of the Master who taught this prayer to you.” St Teresa notes that Jesus’ use of “Our” in the Our Father demonstrates His humility and love, making us His siblings, and sharing His Father with us.
In Matthew 6:5-13 Jesus said: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “This, then, is how you should pray:
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
• Gina Del Rosario is a Roman Catholic who was born and raised in the Philippines, and is a parishioner at Saint Paul’s Catholic Church in Juneau. “Living & Growing” is a weekly column written by different authors and submitted by local clergy and spiritual leaders. It appears every Saturday on the Juneau Empire’s Faith page.
