Whether you are headed to a Halloween party or a night of trick-or-treating, or are just planning to stay home and hand out candy, consider these top ten most terrifying Halloween costumes:
The Grocery Receipt. This costume consists of a full-length roll of paper printed with item after item of food and necessities. While each item’s price might not be excessive, the grand total elicits screams from those around you. If you’re out with a friend, think about dressing up as a pair of receipts. The companion costume is a similar full-length roll of paper with only one item on it and a price to match the other receipt. You’re sure to win in the Most Horrifying Costume category.
The Phone Tree. This understated costume consists of a tree with a phone planted on top. It is designed to trigger exasperated memories of sitting on hold for hours while trying to conduct business over the phone. As an added touch, the costume features an audio component in which a bit of hold music plays in a continuous loop to further agitate those around you. Unfortunately, this irritating music can drive the wearer up the wall throughout the night. The Phone Tree should prevail in the Most Anxiety-Producing Costume category.
The Alarm Clock. An innocuous clock face with the alarm time prominently set at 6:00 a.m. can inspire terror in others. Make sure it’s dark out before you hit the streets, to highlight the earliness of the alarm time. To further scare people, include a sign indicating that there is no snooze button on the alarm clock. This costume is a strong contender for the Most Realistic Fright category.
The Kitty Litter Box. With nothing but a cardboard box and some twists of tissue paper, you can create a kitty litter box costume that reminds people of their least favorite responsibilities. A scent component is available if desired to complete the experience. Look to win in the Most Odoriferous Costume category.
The Report Card. This costume plays on one’s deep-seated fears lurking from childhood. Feel free to give whatever grades you like, but be sure to include these words prominently placed at the top: “Show Your Parents.” This ominous costume is a natural for the Most Painful Memory category.
The Barbecue Grill. Cut a grill out of cardboard and clutch grilling tools in both hands, and you’ll have the sleeper costume of the season. While it doesn’t look frightening at first glance, the Barbecue Grill will dredge up memories of contentious family gatherings, burnt steaks, and that one time when flames shot ten feet into the air and nearly set the porch on fire. This costume is complemented by the Grocery Receipt to elicit additional terror. You can expect to shine in the Most Flamboyant Costume category.
The Computer Screen. By itself a computer screen isn’t necessarily scary. But add a whirling circle activated by a simple knob inside the costume, and you’ll invoke the time-sucking experience of waiting for something to load on the computer. This costume belongs in the Most Terrible Technology category.
The Bathroom Scale. Display an astonishingly high number accompanied by a couple of twirly springs popping out of the scale. This costume emphasizes the fear of breaking the bathroom scale when you step on it. As an added touch, dangle a full candy bucket from one arm. This costume is a strong contender for the Most Destructive category.
The Mailbox. Picture a black rural mailbox. Hardly sinister, right? But a cunning pulley system that drops the door down and pushes out a massive collection of bills and junk mail can create a true jump scare. Expect to succeed in the Most Heart-Stopping category.
The Kitchen Sink. Often seen as a cliché, the kitchen sink can be a creepy costume when it’s filled with dirty dishes. With Thanksgiving following close on the heels of Halloween, this subtle reminder of things to come can strike fear into the most cavalier cook. Enter this costume into the Frightening Future category.
No matter what terrifying costume you choose this Halloween, remember to have a frightfully fun time. Happy Halloween!
Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother, and author who writes cozy mysteries under the pen name “Greta McKennan.” She likes to look at the bright side of life.
