The F word.
F… U… and no need for that third and fourth letter, the point is made without.
Writing the third and fourth letter changes the meaning in no way, it just adds the unpleasant “uch” sound.
The word frequently has been used in literature.
It first appeared in the 15th Century. Probably sooner. I imagine a cave drawing of a spear in the hunters foot instead of the hunted giant bear would have been an apt usage.
It is one of the most foul — even, sometimes, exhilarating — of words. It can be both and it can be more.
I have been hearing it a lot lately.
And not as one would expect, if one expects it to be used as an invitation or a threat.
Nope, I am hearing it as a part of good old general speech…
I mean, I am no saint but I think I have a tiny bit of decorum.
To me the “uch” sound would not be added to the soothing “phaa” tone if I were, say, talking to other adults around kids as it is not the verb/noun/adverb/adjective I would want my nieces and nephews picking up from me.
I am sure my nephew would not want his children saying, “Great-uncle Klas said it, why can’t I?”
Good question.
Why can’t they?
I mean, if we are saying it to each other or at other adults around them how can we be shocked if they say it?
I have been shocked a few times this year hearing it from youthful citizens not yet old enough to drive, citizens too old to drive and citizens with both drive and lack of drive.
Cursing in public may be off-putting but it is not illegal. In some states, though, you could be charged with disorderly conduct if your language incited violence or illegal activity or you are shouting threats or your profanity warrants a threat to public safety.
In New Hampshire, you shouldn’t swear in front of women or children. It is an old law, though, and seldom enforced. And don’t curse on a North Carolina highway or near South Carolina church or school.
Some municipalities may have ordinances that prohibit vulgar language.
Profanity is protected by the First Amendment but it can be regulated if used to directly insult someone or used in broadcast media or used on the premises of a private organization that deems it unacceptable on their premises.
I am working on curbing my usage. I substitute words of total abstraction and mirth and it actually changes my mood.
I am not sure when in my youth it became less of a description of copulation and more of an insult or a reaction.
I do remember two instances in which I was learned that use of the word was not going to pass muster on the particular day of use.
Let’s look back at my freshman year in high school, shall we?
I was a starting guard on the Petersburg Vikings varsity basketball team and we were about to play the preseason favorite to become Southeast champions, the Ketchikan Kings.
Now, the Kings had the top senior guard in the league and while shorter than I, he had four more years of muscle and experience than this shy freshman who blushed if anyone looked his direction.
Picture a jump ball about to start the game.
Around the circle we positioned ourselves. Clad in shorts well above our knees and jerseys shrunken from years of service. Hair styles basically the visage of any ‘70s album cover of the time. Our canvas high top Converse Chuck Taylors shifting slighting.
Mr. King said the most casual thing to me, “So. Number 13. Well, that is going to be unlucky for you.”
Now my number was indeed 13. Worn because my idol had worn it. For some reason, this slight was not just on me but on the history of this jersey and since puberty had already been observed, my stored up testosterone finally had an outlet…
“F- – k you,” I said. Very matter of factly. As if everyone in his hometown knew this was how to address this individual.
My teammates, two of them seniors, were bemused… a junior and a sophomore quite elated… and our coach just shook his head.
Mr. King did not bat an eye. He may have snickered.
I do remember he said, “32.”
And I remember it was a long night for me… running into screens, being hounded full court on defense and chasing after one of the sweetest jump shots in the league.
Mr. King scored 32 points.
I played the whole game. My lesson was learned through 32 exhausting minutes.
My coach said, “You swore at the wrong person.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
Funny thing… Mr. King and I became friends. Even played on city league teams together — much later in our lives, though.
The second time I remember using the F word was during my 20th year.
I had just returned from my first commercial fishing trip.
I was the good baby brother filling in for an older sibling who lived the life of stormy waters and long hours.
Thirty some days on the ocean, sometimes no land in sight, surrounded by old Norwegian men who used language that turned my green oilskins orange in embarrassment.
Trip over.
First night at home sharing dinner with my beloved parents.
“Pass the f- – -ing potatoes,” I said in the most casual and conversational tone imaginable.
I heard myself say the whole sentence, and it sounded so correct.
My mother did pass the potatoes. She passed my whole plate. Piled high with sustenance upside down atop my lovely maturing locks of hair and into my lap.
I did not flinch.
Soon as the words were out there in the air, I knew they were inappropriate.
I wore my dish that night.
My mother said, “I think you are tired. I think you need to go to bed.”
My father asked, “Can I have his potatoes?”
So I went to bed and my father went out back “to the work shed,” both of us having learned a lesson.
It can be an addicting word. Word usage in general can be addicting when you see how powerful or illuminating or enchanting or philosophical you can become with even the silliest of words.
But the F word, well, it is the heroin in heroism.
According to various dictionaries the word has early Germanic roots, and Scottish, and Norse…
Shakespeare didn’t use it but knew of it and substituted puns and references. James Joyce and D.H. Lawrence did, Norman Mailer used a variant, James Jones won a National Book Award with it (1951 From Here to Eternity) and it spawned the movie and we can see the romance of the word as gruff but fair Sgt. Warden (Burt Lancaster) engages in a clandestine affair with the captain’s mistreated wife (Deborah Kerr) at Pearl Harbor.
This is not my knowledge.
I have perused three books (one is aptly titled “The F Word”) devoted to the word and, I must say, I use it much less now.
Some firsts in reference go to John Florio’s World of Words (1598), John Ash’s New and Complete Dictionary of the English Language (1775), Oxford English Dictionary (1920), the American Heritage Dictionary (1972)…
Acronyms that historians say are false include Forced Unsolicited Carnal Knowledge worn on a badge by convicted adulterers in Olden Tymes, or Fornication Under Consent of King in a belief that one needs to seek royal permission.
One acronym with more weight, according to an underground New York newspaper (1967), believes the word originated on documents of soldiers in the British Imperial Army sickened with V.D. and stamped Found Under Carnal Knowledge…
The largest increase of the word, which led to more suffix use, was with the liberating attitudes of the ’60s, ’70s and ‘80s! And yours truly graduated smack dab in the middle of that affluency!
Sigh.
Put it in front of a word it shows distaste, behind that same word shows acceptance…
It was cheered at Woodstock — so I’m told. I have to admit, being on an island in Alaska I never heard of the gathering until much later…
I laughed when George Carlin spoke of it, but only out of “ear width” of my parents…
Lewinsky’s comment on Clinton in the Starr Report was reprinted, along with the word, in the New York Times (1998)… shocking then, now it is printed and reprinted in full on social media … It is spoken at the Grammys and by professional athletes.
It is said in joy, in sadness, in anger and in total bewilderment — what the F – – -?
So yes. I am bewildered.
I say it and instantly regret it, kind of like my Swedish guilt thing.
It is mouthed with hatred on the freeway which — according to the First Amendment Encyclopedia – if you are on a North Carolina public road or highway is a class 3 misdemeanor if within earshot of two or more people. In South Carolina you can be found guilty if swearing near a church or school. In Rockville, Maryland, you may be guilty if a pedestrian hears you using profanity while driving.
Virginia, Alabama and Mississippi also make profanity illegal but such laws are frequently found to be unconstitutional or unenforceable as they infringe on that good old First Amendment.
It is out there, but in some instances I wish it were not.
It is really just up to you and me.
I mean, you can put a suit on a monkey but it is still a monkey. It is just wearing a suit. You can’t stop it from throwing its feces, that’s what monkeys do.
So is the monkey the problem? Or is it the suit?
What about the listener?
Did you notice the photo I included with this column?
Isn’t it f – – -ing beautiful??!!
• Contact Klas Stolpe at klas.stolpe@juneauempire.com.
