|
The word "wedding" comes from an old Anglo-Saxon term
that referred to a vow by a man to marry a woman, but also to the
bride price that the man was to pay to the bride's father. Believe
it or not, the root word carries the literal meaning of "to
gamble."
But just like we've left the practices of getting a bride by kidnapping
a young attractive woman or by buying her from her parents, you
want to get as far away from gambling with your wedding day as is
humanly possible.
It is, after all, very possibly the most important day of your life
we're talking about.
Money talks
In many, if not most, aspects of your wedding, you can get help
from professionals who have been there many times and can walk you
past the most common pitfalls and give you ideas that you might
not have come up with yourself.
But the one thing you and your spouse-to-be need to sit down and
figure out before you start planning your wedding is your financial
situation.
Since most marital disputes are about money, and the average cost
of a wedding in America today is over $20,000, no matter how unromantic
it seems to go from "YES!" to filty lucre, it's wise.
If you haven't already, familiarize yourselves with each other's
financial situations as well as attitudes to money. Does one of
you bring big credit card debts into the marriage? Do you agree
on budgeting? What do you both consider worth spending money on
– that is, in life in general, and for the wedding in
particular?
Starting out by making a wedding budget can be helpful, say financial
advisors. Especially since these days, it's no longer expected of
the bride's parents to foot the bill for the wedding.
A budget that suits you
A budget can help you avoid wasting time on things you can't possibly
afford. Why waste time looking over high end designer gowns if you
can't possibly spend that kind of money?
That said, going into a wedding, most people intend it to be their
last one. And that being the case, many people decide it's the chance
of a lifetime to splurge on a celebration that they, their families,
and their friends will remember and cherish.
If your budget is limited, you just have to prioritize. And doing
it together is a good premarital exercise in money management.
If you've dreamed about your wedding gown since you were a little
girl, and already have it designed in your head, that's probably
a part of your wedding where you don't want to make compromises.
If feeding your guests like gods is high on your list of priorities,
you probably want to limit the guest list. On the other hand, if
it' smore important to you that all your family and friends attend,
you could go for a buffet-style dinner instead of a sit-down one.
For once in your life, it's all about you. So take advantage of
that. Make your day everything you dreamed that it would be.
What Do We Do Next?
We'll spend the next 12 weeks walking you through different aspects
of how to plan your dream wedding. We'll look at where you can get
married in Juneau. You probably already thought of the houses of
worship, and most of them are available whether or not you are a
member of that particular congregation. Different congregations
have different practices, so ask! Don't be afraid to bring up money,
and even if all you have to pay is rental for the space, it's customary
to give a personal donation to the officiating pastor as well as
an organist, if you use one.
But there are plenty of other places to get married. Look for ideas
in coming weeks.
Maybe you've wondered where to hold your reception? Juneau is filled
with options, and we'll tell you about some of them.
If you're still looking for that perfect wedding ring, we'll give
you some ideas.
And if you're wondering if your idea of how and where to get married
is way outside the acceptable – we might be able to give you
some ideas of what other people have done who didn't only have a
great wedding day, but who are still very happily married.
By CHRISTINA HOLMGREN
The Juneau Empire
|
