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I came of age during the 1960s, when the goal in life was to find yourself. Forty years later, the Digital Age has made that possible. Thanks to Global Positioning System technology I can just press a button and know where I am at all times. This is particularly helpful at large universities and shopping malls. And it's great for us old folks with bad eyesight and failing memories. I got lost in my house the other day and the GPS told me "you're in the bathroom." Very handy.

Techwit By Jason Ohler

So what do you do once you have found yourself, your stuff and the pager you need to find your stuff? You find someone else. For this we have The Locator, an actual device I saw advertised on the Internet last year. Think of it as a sign you carry telling people what you like to do. The difference is that it hides in your pocket and only certain people know it's there. Here's how it works.

First you have to program your Locator to tell it who you are by answering five multiple choice questions about personal preferences: food, religion, music, Mac or PC ... standard stuff. Then you stick it in your pocket and go to a Locator party and just walk around. If you get near someone who has the same answers, it starts to jiggle in your pocket. You maneuver until you get the strongest jiggle and then ask the person next to you, "3,6,7,2,4?" (These are your multiple choice answers.) If you have found your fellow jiggler, and if you hit if off, great. If not, then you press a button that tells your Locator "don't jiggle anymore when I come near this particular person." By the way, the Locator makes it clear why we shouldn't eliminate multiple choice testing in schools: It holds the key to the future of dating and therefore the survival of our species.

I know most gadgets are landfill waiting to happen. But the holidays are no time to be environmental. We have Earth Day for that. So, tell someone you love them: buy them a gadget. And don't forget to get them a universal pager to go with it.