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Techwit By Jason Ohler

I was jolted back to reality by the voice of her supervisor correcting her, telling her that she needed to hold the wand an inch or two above my leg. I protested. I liked her way better. In fact, I thanked her and asked her if she wouldn't mind doing it again and going a little slower. I told both of them I would have put a few bucks in a tip jar had there been one available. As I was being led away for further questioning, the revelation came to me. Airport security technology should do more than just look for nail clippers and gunpowder residue. It should make us feel so good that we want to go through security. Instead of complaining, we should be left wanting more.

The X-ray machine that your carry-ons pass through is an excellent candidate for technological enhancement. Every time I wad up my overcoat in one of those gray tubs and stick it on the conveyor belt, I wonder why it can't emerge out the other end dry cleaned. If that's too complicated, then ironed and pressed would be nice. Nothing fancy. Just getting out the big wrinkles would do it. And as long as my laptop is going to be scanned, is there a good reason why it can't be checked for viruses?

And there's the metal detector we all walk through after emptying our pockets of everything except the cloth they're made of. Rapid tanning technology could be built into detectors installed in northern climates to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder. In Tucson in July? Then you get a blast of cool air. And how about a reward when the inspection doesn't find anything suspicious? Maybe something fun, like a cookie or one of those plastic action figures you get with a McDonald's Happy Meal.

Most people understand the need for high-tech airport security. They're just disappointed there isn't the high touch to go with it. They have a point. Surely a civilization that can create a jumbo jet so sophisticated that it can fly itself can make inspections so much fun that we want to travel, just so we get to go through security.

Jason Ohler is professor of educational technology at the University of Alaska Southeast and can be reached at jason@jasonohler.com. © 2003 Jason Ohler.