Here are just a few first-date pointers for you men, in case living in Alaska has addled your brains:

• Come on, guys! I know it's Juneau and all, but try to make an effort to look good, or at least better than usual. Going on a first date and seeing you looking like a slob is a major turn-off that could leave your date asking herself, "Why am I here again?"

• Sure, the women's movement has come a long way, but don't think you're doing us any favors by assuming we'll want to go dutch on the first date. Oh, believe me, we will have the money to pay - just in case we need to skip out early or simply because we don't want to feel obligated to some of you over-anxious men. But believe me, your cheap asses will be mentioned to all our girls, and our girls' girls, too! Going dutch on the first date is a great way to let a girl know you're not that interested.

• White socks, black dress shoes. Need I say more?

• Just because you paid for dinner or drinks does not entitle you to anything more than a woman is willing to give. Nothing's worse than an over-eager, pushy dude.

And if you do succeed in boozing a girl up in the hopes of getting lucky, you get what you paid for. I understand that it helps some people's psyches to cling to the "I was drunk" excuse. Whatever floats your boat. Just keep in mind that this isn't the usual "how-I-fell-in-love-with-your-grandma" story we hear from gramps. Ladies, take note.

• Be a man, dangit! If a woman needs help, whether it's your date or someone else, help her. I wonder who taught some men their manners, anyway. Or, should I say, who neglected to? I don't know if it's the Alaskan culture, but what has happened to chivalry? I see way too many guys walking past a woman in need as I struggle to help her myself. Please tell me there are still some gentlemen left in this town.

• Last, but not least, be yourself. It's the tried and true adage that never gets enough playtime. Sure, this will backfire at times on those unlucky men who are not that great to begin with, but like I've said many times before, there's someone for everyone.

So you, too, unlucky man, have someone made for you! If you pretend to be someone you're not, that just makes it harder for the girls you're with to filter through all the muck. If you stay honest and keep things cool, thus helping your date feel comfortable, you just might have a chance at that second date.