|
 Korry Keeker |
|
When you sit back with a mojito this month and contemplate whether to vote for the Mendenhall Valley pool in the Oct. 2 municipal election, it's important to keep one thing in perspective:
When's the last time the valley did something for you?
Outside of (1) its fine drinking establishments, (2) the 4 a.m. Loco Moco at the Valley Diner, (3) the Dance Dance Revolution machine in Udder Culture, (4) the service at Valley Paint and (5) the man-sized yellow chicken that used to dance outside DeHart's, I'm coming up empty.
Now the valley wants our help in building a $19.8 million, six-lane lap pool closer to their homes, so they don't have to drive the mini-van seven miles to the Augustus Brown Swimming Pool.
Here's a better idea for Jane Housewife on Riverside Drive: Go shop at Wal-Mart, buy a $16 kiddie pool, then fill it up with water and enjoy another day playing in your suburban bunker.
The sad thing about this issue - Proposition 4 on your ballot - is that the voters screwed up on Oct. 4, 2005.
|
Web link
So far, one reader has completed the fluoride Mad Lib from the Sept. 6 installment of "Hither & Yon."
To read Rosie Sims' response, click here
|
We should have voted for the original $28.5 million, eight-lane proposal. That design had two circular slides, a whirlpool, a 200 square-foot sauna and the ultimate ... A LAZY RIVER.
It failed, 4,789 nays to 4,052 yays.
Douglas was a vocal opponent: 346 nays to 216 yays. Lemon Creek residents actually rose off their collective couch to make their own statement: 209 nays to 86 yays.
Downtown Juneau was kind enough to float the pool: 569-508. But most tellingly, the valley's indecision was the project's worst enemy: 1,198 nays to 1,178 yays.
A McDowell Group study six weeks after the election found that 21 percent of voters found the design "too elaborate." That's another way of saying that 21 percent of voters are "really lame."
So here we are with a 27 percent smaller schematic - no sauna, no whirlpool, no lazy river, one slide and six lanes. As I see it, the valley is again to blame.
There's an unproductive pattern in Juneau propositions. Valley people present a pet project, say a new high school. It gets shot down, so they scale back. That gets shot down, so it's back to the drawing board.
Soon, we're going to end up with a design for a one-lane, 5-foot-deep drainage puddle for "recreational therapy," and it's going to cost $53.9 million due to the rising cost of steel.
There might be one way to settle this. If Jane Housewife and her valley friends can guarantee in writing they'll vote for my interests - a Democratic president in 2008 - I'll consider voting for theirs.
• Korry Keeker can be reached at 523-2268 or korry.keeker@juneauempire.com
