Sure, you've seen them before. Every guidebook out there is selling its version of how to spend 72 killer hours on your big Alaska adventure right here in Juneau. They'll send you to the Juneau Icefield, to a salmon bake, to whale watching in North Pass, probably even to the Alaskan Hotel & Bar.
But what about the independently minded nude tourist? What if you just want to spend three days with your pants off? Well friend, this is for you:
DAY 1
Breakfast - Nothing says, "I'm going to spend three days bare-assed" like a steaming plate of pigs in a blanket. So head on over for breakfast to Costa's Diner, Merchants Wharf, 463-BONE. Closed Tuesdays.
9 a.m. - Greet the morning air traffic - jetliners and sea planes alike - from the sandy tip of the Mendenhall Peninsula! The Mendenhall Peninsula Trail, 1.1 Mile Mendenhall Peninsula Road, offers a 270-degree, sandy perspective of the mouth of the Mendenhall River.
11 a.m. - Leave some love for our friends aboard the Alaska Marine Highway System! Salute the Fairweather from Indian Point Trail, off Otter Way, 14.6 Mile Glacier Highway, Auke Bay. On the way to Auke Village Recreation Area, turn left on National Park Road and head for the parking lot in the loop. The trailhead begins before the National Park Service buildings and winds around Auke Cape to picturesque Indian Point. If you choose to sit, please lay a towel on the ground. You may be sitting on buried remains of the Auk Kwan.
12:30 p.m. - The Terry Quinn Bench offers a romantic, clothing-optional view of whales and fishermen cavorting near Cohen Island in Favorite Channel. Dangle your herring in the Breadline. Find it on North Tee Harbor Trail, accessed off Cohen Drive at 21.1 Mile Glacier Highway.
3 p.m. - They've seen worse, but make sure the little buggers aren't around at Boy Scout Beach. Hang left at 27.3 Mile Glacier Highway, just before the Herbert River. Go right at the fork, and look for the trailhead at the left of the lot. It's about 2.5 miles to the 1.5-mile sandy crescent beach with a mesmerizing view of the Chilkat Range.
Sunset - The Blue Mussel Cabin, three miles into Point Bridget State Park, 39 Mile Glacier Highway, used to be a naturist's haven. You could sit in the sauna, then stumble bare-assed across the boulder-beach into the water. The sauna burned down years ago, but this is still the best cabin in town. Visit www.dnr.state.ak.us/parks/cabins/south.htm for reservations. Remember to "holla" at the folks at the Echo Bible Camp while you're out there.
DAY 2
10 a.m. - After the long walk back to the road, you'll probably be jonesin' to take off your pants and eat a Maple Nut Clif Bar. There's no better spot than secluded Perched Rock Beach, 35.4 Mile Glacier Highway, smack in between the sandier but more populated Sunshine and Yankee coves.
1 p.m. - Casual hikers and mountain bikers alike have been raving about the work done to the Herbert Glacier Trail, 27.6 Mile Glacier Highway. But the flat, groomed 3.5-mile stretch also offers rich bounty to the unfit nudist. Once you reach the Herbert River, the long, sandy campground boasts an unimpeded view of the ice.
Dinner - It's hard to get more lovin' than a Mama's Burrito at the Hole In The Wall Grill at Squires Rest, 11806 Glacier Highway, Auke Bay.
Sunset - Hang out with your junk out at the Mendenhall Glacier Campgrounds, 0.5 Mile Skaters Cabin Road. Look out for the black wolf.
DAY 3
Breakfast - For that quick energy burst in the morning, stop by Sally's Delicatessen, in the Liquor Barrell, 5234 Glacier Highway. Recommended: Fernando's "BBQ Snack" and a strawberry-kiwi slushy.
11 a.m. - Start your final day with a two-mile trek and a history lesson. Drive to the end of Thane Road, take the trail over Little Sheep Creek and continue 1.5 miles to the branch darting down to the DuPont Ruins. Here's where the DuPont Powder Co. built a wharf in the summer of 1914. Also a good spot for nude Dolly Varden fishing.
3 p.m. - For most of the year, Sandy Beach might be a little too public for skinny-dipping. You can't walk more than 100 feet without seven dogs bowling you over. That's not the case with the public beach farther south on Douglas Island. Take the Treadwell Historic Trail past the ruins, then jump on the seven-mile Marmion Island Trail for hours of semi-tapped splendor.
Sunset - There's a reason they call it the "backside" of Douglas Island. There's usually no one walking along Stephens Passage besides lost snowboarders and the random naturist. The Peterson Creek Trail is not well marked, but starts at the end of North Douglas Road. Head south, cross Peterson Creek, go through the muskeg and into the woods. It doesn't take a genius to find the beach from there. Anyway, they're building a golf course soon, so drive on out and go crazy.
• Korry Keeker can be reached at korry.keeker@juneauempire.com
