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 Boys are dirty,
but I like it
By AnaVera Morato |
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Dating scene? What dating scene? I don't know why anyone bothers complaining. We already know how it is, and we've already heard the same cliché Alaska relationship remarks.
For the women, it's, "You don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn." For the men, it's, "The odds are good but the goods are odd." As many times as you've heard it, I know that a bunch of you are nodding your heads and laughing. It's sad but true, and it's funny 'cause it's sad.
I'm not totally complaining, of course. I love Juneau, I love Anchorage, I love all of Alaska! Hmmm, someone should be paying me for this - WTF.
There's always so much to do here, both outdoors and in. Those of you who complain about being bored and yadda yadda yadda, get off your bums.
OK, so, yeah, maybe I am a bit of a barfly lately, but I'm going to get immunity from all negative connotation - by always being the designated driver. Yeah, that's right, I'm sober!
Being born and raised here, it's kind of tough wanting to date when you've known so many people since kindergarten. What is it that's supposed to impress or turn me on about knowing everyone's sexual history?
Yeah, that's hot! No. Not really.
I will admit that it's starting to worry my parents. My mom tells me to go to church more and to be nice. Apparently, she thinks I'm a bit on the mean side and need Jesus in my life.
I love Jesus!!! Maybe, just maybe, if I pray enough, "some day my prince will come." Thanks, Disney. Now I'm just embarrassing myself.
Plus, that's what my mom's for. No, not the embarrassing part - the praying!
My dad's logic is a lot simpler: I must be a lesbian because I never bring any boys around to meet him.
"Hi, Papa. You're kind of scary." Mmmm, yeah. Maybe if I just start making out with randoms and post the pictures around the house, he won't worry so much.
"Yay, my daughter's a skeezer, but at least she's not a lesbian." I just can't win.
By the way, my lesbian friends are hot, in case you're looking. It's all about networking, baby.
In the meantime, until anyone super-duper cool comes along to sweep me off my feet by making me laugh my money-maker off, I'll stalk people on MySpace.
Have I mentioned that all my friends are hot? You like how I changed the subject?
Gosh, speaking of that proverbial crack-on-a-computer Web site, the last guy I kissed in town - an import, of course - had a comment similar to this on his page: "I'm sorry I won't be around for the wedding!"
Holy snap, man! I'm sorry I'm going to miss your wedding, too!!! I'm sorry I didn't even know about it.
Thanks. A lot. Boys are dirty, but I like it. Sometimes. The end.
• AnaVera Morato is 26 years old, single and has tons of hot friends. Hit her up at hdsncnty@aol.com. Don't be shy.
