Web posted
January 10, 2008
Ready for a New Year's revolution
Gerry 'Naturalman' Bigelow
Off-notes
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 Gerry 'Naturalman' Bigelow |
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As I enter a new year, I like to spend some time thinking about what I can do to change the mistakes of the old year. As I look back at my relationship in the past year, I realize that it isn't a mistake that I need to correct. It turns out that I need to do more of something I started last year.
In the mist of spring last year, I realized that I had fallen into a rut with my wife. Our relationship was on auto pilot. Everything was moving along well, but I wasn't actively flying the plane anymore. I got to a point where I realized I was loving my poor wife to death with dependability, regularity and monotony. We were doing the same stuff over and over again. We had fallen into separate, comfortable little roles and were trudging through life like a couple of pack animals.
During the past summer, I suddenly found myself with much more free time than I had expected. In other words, I was unemployed. Instead of sitting around and watching the Discovery Channel all day, I made a serious attempt at reviving my relationship.
It started out simple. We started going out to lunch again. Meeting your loved one during the work day for lunch is so much better than fried deli food with underpaid, disgruntled co-workers. Then we started going out on dates, almost weekly, without the kids. Heck, we even started walking down the street, holding hands again. Things really started looking up and our love felt fresh again, but it still wasn't enough.
Deep inside, something was pushing me to go further. Our relationships aren't defined only by good times, there are a whole lot of mundane and stressful times mixed into that gumbo. I wanted to figure out a way to spice up those times as well. So I started helping out with the laundry. What seemed like such a simple gesture at first, turned out to be the greatest offering of all.
My wife loathes doing the laundry. I think she would prefer to be water-boarded by the CIA, instead. The burden fell on her, however, because I do most of the daily cooking and usually spend more hours at work. Every time she started on the mountain of dirty clothes that five active Alaskans can produce weekly, she looked like she was having a mental break down. After more than a decade together, I finally offered to give her some time off, and I tackled Mount Funky for her. I don't think a Tiffany diamond could have produced a bigger smile.
So this year, my resolution is to continue helping with the wash, cleaning up the kitchen, going out to lunch, watching the kids instead of football, planning dates and keeping my inner "grinch" at bay (especially before morning coffee).
I challenge all you other guys out there to join me. Let's step up our game in 2008. A little effort will go a long way, and you will quickly realize that a little help with the chores works as well as Viagra. And it costs a lot less!
• Gerry Bigelow can be contacted at gerrybigelow@yahoo.com.
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